“It's definitely not Scottish.”
~ Chris Farley on crap
“I don't know the crapfully yours.”
~ Strong Bad
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Crap is the most abundant element in the known universe, 10^56 times more prevalent than the second most common element, Tedium. Crap was originally discovered in 1932 by Niels Bohr, who was voted most bohring nuclear physicist of the 20th Century in a recent poll by Discover Magazine. Dr. Leopold Weingart was the first to synthesize pure Crap from nearly 270 tons of Crap ore. Unfortunately, Weingart failed to take the necessary precautions when working with purified Crap, and was soon diagnosed with a "nasty" case of ass cancer, from which he died in agony a few months later. Fortunately there was a monkey in his hospital room at the time, greatly lightening the overall grim mood.
Crap is unique among the elements, as it is the only one, thusfar, found to undergo cold fusion at nearly room temperature (-48 degrees Celsius). This curious attribute likely explains the element's abundance, since Crap can and will combine with various other elements to produce more Crap, as well as more complex molecules.