Open main menu

Encyclopaedia Daemonica β

Bouncywikilogo.gif
For those with more Christian tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Meatloaf.

Meatloaf: The most ironic of all foods.

"What once was meat, for now, is loaf.
A cow turns into bread.
Musculature, may serve as toast.
The world. Turned on. Its head." ~Oscar Wilde's 1st poem. About meatloaf.

Contents

The History of MeatloafEdit

Meatloaf was first invented by Weird Al Yankovic in 1234321 After Cheese as a cure for poverty by crossing a snake with a giraffe. But Oscar Wilde had already cured poverty by inventing bean dip, so Al was stuck with giant pair of pants full of meatloaf ( The pants were cheeper than a refrigerator ).

Devestated, Al, decided to give his invention to the local tourist office. They loved it, but decided it was a bit too expensive for popular sales, so they made one minor modification to the recipie...

Singing careerEdit

Meatloaf is a famous singer, most noted for writing a billion albums with the words "bat" and "Hell" in the title. Most people think that this is a guy who calls himself meatloaf, but it's actually a giant singing slab of food.

Its singing abilities were advertised in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, along with its edibility ( although the latter has since been debunked ).

The New RecipieEdit

Meatloaf is not actually made from cows. No, it is made of people who have turned into cows. ( That is, meatloaf is either made out of members of the unfortunate cowated populace or one of the ever frightening Warecows ).

Meatloaf production starts with throwing a man-cow into a giant blender and then spitting on it. Then they add the "secret ingredient" ( dog blood, but don't tell them I told you ), and the other "secret ingredient" ( cat vomit, you can tell them I told you that. )

Then the slop is rocketed into the sun for four seconds ( or until crispy ) and then shipped back to earth by friendly aliens, who spit on the meatloaf some more to give it "flavor."

Bill, the Meatloafman ( of Olde Norse mythology ) anxiously sits on top of a mountain, waiting to shape the incoming sludge into bricks. He does so, and...

There's your meatloaf!

Success!Edit

Everybody, from Oscar Wilde to you then got addicted to meatloaf as if it were spam in the fifties. It has held the pedistal of Humanity's Forteenth Favorite Food ever since.