Difference between revisions of "Wikipedia"

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Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit
Tags: Mobile edit Mobile web edit
==Conspirators==
There are 10 types of people on Wikipedia: [[deletionist]] vandals and [[Kmweber]]. The deletionist vandals insist on deleting articles on any subject not of interest to at least 25 billion people plus 10% of the remainder of the Solar System's population (with a 7% late fee). Kmweber is a valiant warrior against this particularly heinous brand of vandalism; for his efforts, he has been rewarded with numerous blocks, thus proving the underhanded nature of the cabal. As an effort to circumvent this, he has taken to referring to the deletionist vandals as "deletionist ostrogoths" instead.
 
==Purpose==
{{Wiki}}
The purpose of Wikipedia is to make as many edits as possible. Players, crackpots, plagiarists or editors (also known as [[Wikipedophiles]]) are graded only on the number of edits they make. Therefore, experienced Wikipedophiles abstain from adding whole articles, coherent sentences, or even intelligible strings of characters, as this wastes a great deal of time. Scores (or ''edit counts'') are refereed by [[Wikibureaucracy|Wikibureaucrats]] who eat [[cheese]] or by the Wiki Goddess herself: [[Kate]] Moss. Common techniques of successful editors are:
* Revert wars, preferably with other power-users (Administrators), as these battles are worth more experience points. These experience points allow wikipedians to cast more elaborate spells, like [[magic missile|Isaac's Greater Missile Storm]]. These wars have been the single largest cause of [[death]] in the 21st [[century]].
* Splitting and rejoining of categories. This method often provides [[100]]s of edits without unnecessarily influencing the content.
* [[Grammar]], spelling, and formatting offensives. Properly administered they can yield [[100|hundreds]] of the coveted one character edits. Not to be attempted by novices.
* [[God|Turning]] [[potato|otherwise]] [[Super Bowl Shuffle|ordinary]] [[words]] [[Alamo|into]] [[unnecessary]] [[links]] [[at]] [[random]] [[to]] [[dwarf|ensure]] [[it]][[Salad|']][[s]] [[hat|as]] [[difficult]] [[to]] [[read]] [[Rita Verdonk|as]] [[possible]]. [[See]] [[Page_Full_Of_Links]]
* [[Wikipedia#Purpose|Making links that don't actually do anything but make the author feel important in his pitiful little existence.]]
* Removing important information, information which the administers feel personally threatening because they are informative, and adding space where no space should be.
* [[Redundancy]]. Stating the same information over and over.
* Lengthy discussions of obvious topics (under the head request for comment). These are, however, seen as a last resort, since a paragraph of [[nonsense]] or repetitions will still take ages compared to more efficient ways.
* [[Redundancy]]. Stating the same information over and over.
* [[Nl:|Translating]] one encyclopedia into many languages. This serves to produce over 100 encyclopedias, all operating in different ways. Several entire languages have been invented simply to increase the number of Wikipedia articles, including Flemorese, Kahxanian, and Swedish. The most extreme example of this is the [http://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%97%D0%B0%D0%B3%D0%BB%D0%B0%D0%B2%D0%BD%D0%B0%D1%8F_%D1%81%D1%82%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%86%D0%B0 Russian Wikipedia]. Notice the bizarre and incomprehensible icons on the Main Page, all unrelated to those found on the English Wikipedia's Main Page. Also notice the copious quantities of [[B]]s, [[D]]s and [[0]]s. They combine to form proof of a [[conspiracy]].
* To get as many uncreditable sources as possible and have other users back them up.
* Another failed attempt to up the American populations literacy.
* Stating that [[Tweetie]] is a [http://www.whitehouse.gov/president/gwbbio.html terrorist].
*[[Redundancy]]. Stating the same information over and over.
 
Wikipedia is wholly owned for profit by the [[cult]] group [[Fark]]. As opposed to us and the millions you'll receive if only you were to cover some minor banking fees from our [[friend]] in [[Nigeria]].
 
==[[NPOV]]==
Anonymous user